2006 Napa Half Ironman (Redneckman)

A hardy band of anti-Wildflower FMRC triathletes ventured north to the Putah Creek "Resort" for the 2nd annual Napa Half Ironman Triathlon. I use the term resort VERY loosely. When you think of a resort, if you normally picture million dollar yachts bobbing at a well tended marina, overlooked by $500-1000/night bungalows, where you can eat in 5 star restaurants, surrounded by a championship golf course, where your every whim is catered to by a polished and professional staff, then you would be sorely disappointed by the Putah Creek Resort. The only boats tied up to a few floating logs where dilapidated bass boats with rusted outboard motors. The bungalows were cheesy motel rooms with shared bathrooms and shower facilities served by a restaurant that might have made the latest Sagat's 10 top places to contract hepatitis and explosive diarrhea. The only golf course was a dusty patch of weeds where a group of partially dressed lake urchins sullenly used a stick to whack a cracked and mud-caked golf ball into a gopher hole. The staff consisted of "Cookie" the one-eyed fry cook chain-smoker at the restaurant; Betty, the tattooed pierced bleach blonde Front Desk staffer and outhouse cleaner who looked like Keith Richards on a good day; Bubba, the pot bellied shower adverse alcoholic ex-convict marina worker and masseuse; and Pyro, the part time golf pro gardener ex-televangelist who had a thing for matches and lighter fluid.

I'm not sure who would choose to stay at this resort other than those who chose to spend Friday night there before the race. I would seriously question the sanity and judgment of anyone that purposely chose Putah Creek as their vacation destination. Putah Creek may not have been hell, but you sure could see it from there. My wife Janine and I stayed in Napa and enjoyed a nice Italian dinner in the downtown area. I think the folks that stayed at the resort had roasted roadkill with a side of Doritos and a Spam appetizer. Those “early riser” FRMC members drove up Saturday morning treating themselves to a twisting and turning poorly paved drive through the Napa countryside. Just the drive over from Napa proper loosened a few of my fillings and had Janine feeling a little car sick.

Despite being an Envirosports produced race, logistics and registration went surprisingly well. The event only drew about 450 people due to that “other” ½ IM, so setting up our transition area, getting registered and body marked (with Sharpies on the hands only – yeah!), and warming up were uneventful. They started the race promptly at 8AM with a two wave start. I saw most of the FRMC gang in the "experienced" wave. The swim was a two loop course in the 73 degree waters of Lake Berryessa. Dave Hoernig, the ring leader for Envirosports has a reputation for not quite accurately marking his courses and he did not disappoint us on Saturday. Unless I grew flippers and gills during the night, I think the swim course was a tad short.

We all exited the water and ran up a gravel strewn road (Note to self – tender feet and sharp gravel do not a happy marriage make). Due to a couple of out and back segments on the course, I was able to see many of the FMRC’letes as we raced the 56 mile leg (actually it was 57.5 miles). I was feeling really good and was working my way up into the top riders when I noticed that my rear wheel felt kind of funny. I told myself it couldn’t be a flat, I’ve never had a flat in a race, but as I glanced down, I noticed a quite apparent lack of air in my tire. I shouted a few choice curse words at the bike gods (which I think were overheard by a few of my fellow teammates –sorry), but quickly gathered myself and did a speedy (under 5 minutes) tube change. I took off with a vengeance thinking I could gain back a few of the places I had lost when "pop" my tire blew again about 6 miles down the road. This time, I just pulled over to the side and contemplated my options. Option 1 was to pick up my bike and hurl it into the bushes but I rejected this idea since I still needed my bike to get back to transition. Option 2 was to jog back to transition, but I still had 15 miles to go to the finish. Option 3 was to fix the flat, but I had only brought one tube, so I was stuck having to patch the tube. I had only 1 CO2 cartridge left and needed some of the CO2 to find the hole. I located the hole, patched it, and then inflated my tire with the remainder of the CO2. I think I only got about 40-50 psi into the tube instead of the normal 110-120 psi. I finished up the last 15 miles of the bike cringing every time I hit a bump fearing I would get a pinch flat. Many thanks to the FMRC’letes who passed me and offered assistance while I cursed and struggled with my flat foibles.

I finally made it into T2 and headed out on the run. I saw my lovely wife Janine coming in just as I was leaving the resort. She turned in an awesome 3:05 bike time on the very difficult course, 5 minutes faster than my time.

The run was on a 2 loop out and back course, so I could see all the FMRC’letes at each turnaround. The temperature had warmed up a bit by the second half of the run, but not to the point where it became a problem. True to form, the run course was a half mile long which had a few of us checking our watches. Despite feeling a bit defeated after the flats, I re-grouped and tried to turn a bad race day into a good training day.

Janine scorched the course and finished 2nd in her age-group. This is an exceptionally impressive achievement for her considering she had spent the week prior in Switzerland and had flown home Friday night. Plus, she had picked up a cold on the flight home so she was fighting mucus monsters most of the day.

All the FMRC’letes looked impressive. I’m sure there were many podium finishes among the 10 to 11 team members at the race. Congrats to all that competed at Napa (and Wildflower) this past weekend.

If anyone is looking for low key half Ironman, I would recommend either this race or Big Kahuna in Santa Cruz later in the year. If you do race Napa next year, say high to Cookie.