The Right Spin

The Right Spin

spin: to cause to have a particular bias; influence in a certain direction; to pedal in a smooth even circle.

I often supplement my triathlon training with an indoor cycling class called “spinning”. Thirty to fifty gym goers cram themselves into a converted aerobics studio adorned in their best Lycra and Spandex to pedal furiously in place to the pre-recorded sound track chosen by the perky purveyor of pedal prowess, the spin instructor. One of my friends, Tom, makes his living as a spin instructor while another, Steve, supplements his triathlon addiction with twice weekly forays into spin instructordom. He holds down a well paying day job in the tech sector, but due to the triathlon monkey riding on his back, he is forced to spin for money at a local health club.

Tom has perfected the art of spin. His classes are the only ones I know that require students to line up days in advance to get a bike. For his special themed spin events, some students have been known to pay line sitters to queue up days in advance camping overnight in front of the spin studio living off Powerbar crumbs and left over sports drinks. Tom has been known to hold Valentine spin classes, Christmas and Halloween classes, a Rocky Horror Picture Show class, and the famous Saturday Night Live spin class. All the classes require students to conform their dress to the theme causing many a strange site at the gym. For this past Valentine’s spin class, I wore my trusty red t-shirt with the slogan “I may not be pretty, but I can lift heavy things” emblazoned across the front. As I walked to the studio to relieve my line sitter, I was passed by a 225 lb Cupid dressed only in a diaper, golden wings, a little bow and arrow, and a matting of body hair that challenged a hirsute grizzly bear. If that was not nightmare worthy enough, the same fellow attended the Rocky Horror class wearing even less in the lead role of Rocky and sporting even more body hair glistening with a healthy application of baby oil.

As I have learned over the years, there is more than one kind of spin. I’ve worked in marketing for over 15 years now. I make my living creating the right spin for a variety of products ranging from blood tests for early detection of cancer to products that allow people with COPD to breathe easier. Some of my peers have spent their careers marketing such fascinating products as KC Masterpiece BBQ Sauce, Bleach, Combat Ant & Roach Traps, and Kingsford Charcoal. Believe it or not, all these products are manufactured by the same company, Clorox. I realize marketing is not as glamorous a career as say a neurosurgeon, a firefighter, an astronaut (even a depends wearing, cross country driving, sociopathic one), or a reality TV star, but I like to think that I market products to improve the quality of life for people. I suppose my peers at Clorox can say the same thing, but I still struggle with the societal benefits of Pine Scented Bleach or KC Masterpiece BBQ Sauce with Real Hickory Smoke Flavor. Maybe Clorox should start combining some of their products; like for example, charcoal and BBQ sauce. They could launch a new line of KC Masterpiece Flavored Kingsford Charcoal. I can just see the advertisements “Forget the hassle of marinating your meat for hours or endlessly brushing on sauce while you grill…Introducing KC Masterpiece Flavored Charcoal…the latest invention from the grill masters at Kingsford”. Or, who could resist Combat Roach Traps – Now with Pine Scented Bleach for easy clean-up and odor control. Or Clorox could even go for that breakthrough innovation – Combat Ant & Roach Traps infused with all the BBQ goodness of KC Masterpiece. Your ant and roach problems are solved and the little critters go to the big roach motel in the sky with BBQ smeared smiles. This kind of out of the box thinking would certainly move my Clorox peers up the ladder of societal benefit, if not a full rung, at least half a rung.

We all spin in one way or another. Lately, if you have been paying attention to the news, spin has almost become synonymous with “lying” or “malicious misdirection”. The elegant art of spin has become corrupted by those who wish to avoid the negative fallout of poor decisions or cover-up some nefarious scandal. Spin Doctors are brought in to apply a nice shiny coat to the scandal plagued and ethically challenged. These spinners dishonor the purity of spin and sour all of us on the noble art.

Whether you spin for exercise or you spin for a living; balance, integrity, character, and making perfect little circles with your feet are key to maintaining a positive spin on life.